What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion means to direct the feeling of compassion inwards towards oneself, it is allowing yourself to be imperfect and human, sometimes accepting yourself instead of being extremely critical and judgmental. It is like a warm hug you give to yourself when things don’t go your way. It is a practice of letting yourself grow by making mistakes and learning from them rather than feeling insufficient when you do make them. 

Self-compassion is generally composed of three elements which includes kindness vs judgment, isolation vs common humanity and lastly mindfulness vs over–identification. 

Kindness vs judgment is the stage of being gentle, supportive and understanding towards self. In times of failures, misfortunes it is important to be gentle rather than critical of self. 

Isolation vs common humanity is the tendency to relate to the human condition of being imperfect, it helps you see your life and yourself in a broader perspective where you can realize each one of us have weaknesses and flaws. 

Mindfulness vs over identification is the element that teaches you to be living in the present moment rather than being overwhelmed by either the past shortcomings or future worries, it teaches balancing the good and bad characteristics of self and life. It is the acknowledgment of your strengths and weaknesses without exaggeration or any magnification or minimization of personal traits. 

Why is Self-Compassion Important? 

Studies show self-compassion is an effective method of coping with life challenges and not only does it make you more resilient in the face of adversity it also helps improve your subjective well-being by motivating you to achieve your goals and makes the journey just as beautiful, it pushes you to be the best version of yourself with love and gentle affection. Self-compassion says I’m enough and I can reach my maximum potential gradually and eventually rather than “I’m not good enough, why haven’t I done something”. 

Significance of Self-Compassion 

Studies show self-compassion is positively correlated with subjective well-being. 

Increased practice of self-compassion leads to more positive feelings such as happiness, joy, and content within individuals. It makes a person more optimistic, motivated, confident and hopeful.

Moreover, it is also associated with reducing levels of depressed mood, anxiety, worry, guilt of past mistakes, fear of failure. 

In addition to that, research shows people who are more self-compassionate are better and more efficient at achieving their goals as they do not fall into the trap of degrading themselves and giving up but instead their compassion towards self allows them to take a step back, analyze the situation, find out their mistakes, where they lacked, their unproductive behavior and learn to work on that. Such individuals are more open to experiences and don’t shy away from being a beginner. 

Self-compassion motivates people to learn, increase their knowledge, skill set, and reach their maximum potential for their intrinsic motivation for the purpose of excellence rather than any social pressure or approval. 

Studies have shown association between a self-compassion and a more independent, solid and steady form of self that is not easily influenced by external factors, hence, it also plays a role as a protective factor against anger, negative self-evaluations, low self esteem, social comparison, negative self criticism etc. 

It is also negatively associated with narcissism which is an unhealthy and problematic pattern of self-preservation. 

Daily Self-Compassion Practices 

There are many different ways to add self-compassion in your routine or daily life. Some of the practices are shared here. 

• You can start writing a self compassion journal. It will help you be kinder towards yourself.
• Daily affirmations that you can say to yourself in front of the mirror or generally without it are effective in increasing confidence & elevating mood. It can look like “I am enough,” “I am capable,” “each step towards my goal is a success.”
• Start forgiving yourself for one mistake everyday that you feel guilty for.
• While going through a difficult situation talk to yourself like you would with your best friend in the same situation.

Be a kinder, gentler and more loving person to yourself. Life is difficult but short and healthy practice such as self-compassion will make you feel more comfortable, confident, accomplished and good enough in your own skin. 

References 

Neff KD. The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself. Hum Dev. 2009 Jun;52(4):211-214. doi: 10.1159/000215071. PMID: 22479080; PMCID: PMC2790748.