We live in the world of appearances, where too much importance is given to the external aspects. Whether it be a personal, social or occupational part of life, the world seems to be hyper focused on appearances, demeanor, the way you dress up, carry yourself, how you communicate, and conduct yourself. From individuals in our personal lives, friends, acquaintances, family to the recruiters and interviewers, almost everyone we come across in our lives builds their impressions based on how a person looks. Generally, it is socially acceptable to compliment or pass a comment on the looks of anyone you meet or come across. In this article we will discuss the reasons why we need to be more mindful about this.
When children grow up in a society where utmost importance is given to the way they appear on face value rather than other personality characteristics, they learn to objectify themselves. They believe their value is associated with their appearance, they will only be worthy if they look a certain way. This self objectification causes a number of psychological issues among young people. It can lead to self-surveillance and developing an unhealthy body image.
With the consistent exposure of particular beauty standards through media, especially social media, we all tend to objectify our bodies and judge ourselves and others on the basis of those unrealistic standards. This leads to development of a negative body image. In the long run it causes various mental health issues such as low self-esteem, loss of confidence, low & depressed mood, eating problems etc.
Studies have shown adolescents and young adults are constantly anxious and have depressive cognitions due to pressure of looking perfect, they report to find themselves often worried about being judged, excluded, or criticized on their physical looks. Such situations encourages the unhealthy behavior of self surveillance such as continuous checking of weight, not eating properly, staying on trending diet plans regardless of how it is affecting your health.
In addition to this, people making comments or body shaming someone can trigger symptoms of anxiety leading to avoidance and chronic anxiety issues such as appearance anxiety, negative body image, social and performance anxiety. Research shows that teenagers who experience appearance anxiety are relatively more prone to high levels of social anxiety, pessimistic thoughts, communication problems, perform poorly, feel insecure and uncomfortable in social situations.
Whether the comments are positive or negative, the problem with this phenomenon is that in the long run it teaches people to value themselves based on their physical appearance only, which strengthens their self-objectifying beliefs. Consequently, it has serious repercussions on mental health.
Studies depict that females who receive positive compliments experience a temporary uplift in mood however in the long term they suffer from body image distress, engage in surveillance, and report dissatisfaction with their bodies.
Keeping in view the psychological effects it is eminent that we understand the significance of making it a point to not compliment mere looks and instead shift our focus from physical appearances to other characteristics and traits of people around us.
How can we do that? We can practice complimenting personality traits, the strengths and qualities that are beyond the body such as being honest, helpful, caring, kind, brave, curious, loyal, adventurous, humble, friendly, calm etc. We can compliment their skills such as baking, cooking, communication, socializing, writing, musical skills etc. We can appreciate the things they do, compliment them on the good times you have had in their company. It reinforces the idea that we value them as a person rather than their physical traits only and makes them feel appreciated wholeheartedly.
A take home message: With social media providing easy access it is easy to type and comment on someone’s pictures, posts or bodies. However, body shaming, negative comments can have serious consequences for mental health. Idealizing perfection & unrealistic beauty standards has led to higher levels of anxiety, depression,and eating disorders. In this time when the world is in a mental health crisis, it is eminent for you and me and all of us to be more understanding, kind and mindful of the words that we say to each other and play a positive part in the life of each person that we are a part of. Choose to be the change and spread love as every little drop of affection will add to the mighty ocean of love.
References
Gao, J., Feng, Y., Xu, S., Wilson, A., Li, H., Wang, X., Sun, X., & Wang, Y. (2023). Appearance anxiety and social anxiety: A mediated model of self-compassion. Frontiers in public health, 11, 1105428. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2023.1105428
Tort-Nasarre, G., Pollina Pocallet, M., & Artigues-Barberà, E. (2021). The Meaning and Factors That Influence the Concept of Body Image: Systematic Review and Meta-Ethnography from the Perspectives of Adolescents. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(3), 1140. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18031140
