Grief is an emotion that occurs when you have lost something or someone. A loss can occur expectedly or unexpectedly, however, it is unlikely one will know how to respond to the grief even if it was expected. Understanding the stages of grief can help you to understand the process you may go through.

The stages of grief is unique to each individual in how they experience them. Each stage may look different to each person but understanding and knowing what stage you are in can help you to cope. The stages of grief are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance (DABDA).

Here we will take a closer look at how each stage may look and may look different to different people.

Denial

Denial is the first stage of grief and this is where the individual will be in shock or confused on the loss that has occurred. To express themselves in the denial stage, this can mean the individual may engage in different behaviors such as avoidance, staying busy or distracted, and telling others they are okay or “I’m fine.” This stage, it is likely they do not want to face the loss nor ready to go through the emotions that loss can put one through, therefore, they will do their best to get their mind off of what has happened.

Anger

In this stage, you have now faced that you have lost someone or something. With this said, it is natural to become angry at the situation. This anger can also feel like resentment towards whatever caused the situation and you may feel like it is difficult to keep that rage inside. Anger can present itself in various forms such as irritability. Many may think anger is someone screaming or yelling, but being irritable can be underlying emotional state covering up for anger. Some other underlying emotional states or behaviors of anger can include sarcasm, being aggressive or even getting into arguments often. Anger can also lead to drug use and increase drug use if you already engage with drugs. Identifying the underlying emotion is best to deal with that emotion to overcome the anger response you are experiencing.

Bargaining

In this stage of grief, bargaining is where you may experiencing feeling some insecurity without the person or thing you have lost. You may also feel anxious, shame and guilt for what you have lost and therefore, due to these strong emotions, you may begin to think of what you “should” have done and “If only” which can put pressure on you and cause you to feel guilty. Bargaining can also present itself by having you to ruminate on the past and over-think and worry about the future. Bargaining can lead you to plead for what you have lost back into your life and give something in return.

Depression

Depression sets in when you come to realize what you have lost will not be coming back and nothing can change that. This can result to you feeling sad, helpless and hopeless, as well as overwhelmed with emotions that may be strong and new to you and you may not know how to handle them. Depression can cause one to have a change in their sleeping patters, appetite, loss of energy and social interest, and use of drugs. Read more here to learn all about depression

Acceptance

The acceptance stage is a stage where you will have more wisdom about what has occurred and feel validated with the loss and feelings you have had. Acceptance is also being able to use your coping skills to tolerate the emotions you may still be experiencing with the loss. In this stage of grief, you will come to terms of how it is at the moment and find ways to adapt to your new reality and respond in a healthy way.